Keeping your relationships healthy

You know that weight loss surgery is a major, life-changing journey for you. It’s easy to forget that it can also bring big changes to your significant other’s life as well. Even if your partner is thrilled for you and happy that you’re moving forward with surgery, they may still feel like they’re "losing" the version of you that they know and love. Each relationship has a unique dynamic, and weight loss surgery is bound to shift it, for better or worse. 

If your partner also struggles with being overweight, your progress toward a healthier self may feel threatening, or like a rejection. They may wonder if the healthier, thinner you will want to do new and thrilling things with new and exciting people. They may also worry that they’ll get left behind. Here are some tips to help you work through these changes together: 

  • Talk. And talk, and then talk some more. Talk about what thrills you and what scares you about this journey.  Ask your partner how he or she feels and what he or she worries about.  Keep the lines of communication wide open and assure your partner that you’re in this together.
  • Get support.  Support groups sometimes welcome significant others, as well as anyone else who wants to support you through this process. Some groups may even offer separate meetings for partners. Urge your partner to attend and connect with others going through these events.
  • Bring your partner along. Ask your partner to attend office visits with you and to ask questions. It may help your partner to hear from your weight-loss healthcare team, and will let them feel included in the process. 
  • Find new things to bond over. Cooking and eating may be something that you enjoy with each other. Maybe you both like eating out or you binge on junk food while watching movies. Your relationship with food, and the things you eat, is going to change greatly. Now is a good time to find new activities or hobbies to share. 
  • Get help. If you and your partner are having issues coping, help is out there. Ask your healthcare team to suggest a counselor or other resources to help you work through these very common issues.